I am so unbelievably and extremely sad right now. This sadness can not be explained with words. I am at a complete loss to try to explain how utterly depressed I am at the moment. I just can't believe that I am leaving Thailand. The last year and a half of my life has been so wonderful...why would one want to leave a place that brings them complete, all encompassing, fulfilling joy and happiness? How or where do I even begin to explain what Thailand has shown me, taught me, given me, provided me? I can't. It's damn near impossible. Simply put is that Thailand was the best decision I have ever made. Now I know there are great things ahead for me in my life but I just want to grieve for a moment or two or five.
It feels like yesterday I was packing up my personal belongings and moving to the other side of the world. As I sit here crying I am flooded with lessons learned, opportunities and experiences I have had in Thailand. I am confident to say one lesson learned while living here was patience. Dealing with a culture very unfamiliar to my own and not speaking the language requires a great deal of patience. Dealing with various offices within ABAC involves a lot of patience. Traveling throughout Thailand calls for patience. I have had hundreds of opportunities here...traveling has been a big one. Living here I was able to travel to some AMAZING countries...Japan, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia, Indonesia and I am leaving tonight for Hong Kong, then China, and South Korea. As for experiences...thousands upon thousands. I...I...I...need a minute. Okay okay...I am okay. So while living in Thailand I had a plethora of visitors. I am so happy that so many people were able to come and experience a little bit of Thailand with me. I will cherish those moments.
And the people I have met here. The friendships I have made. Some I will be leaving here in Thailand, some I will be going to visit in a few short weeks, some will be scattered around the USA and thankfully some will be returning to Chicago as well. There have been a lot of people (fellow teachers) that without them here my experience would not be the same... Shannon, Jenn, Ladky, Marani, Jorge, and Brenda...to name a few. Together we have laughed, we have grown, we have traveled, we have comforted, we have danced, we have lived. Thank you all for the best time of my life. You have challenged me, made me think, aided me in re-evaluating things in my life, listened to me, and been there for me. And for this I thank you. I am glad you are a part of my life. And of course I can't forget Em, Nui, Ae, New, and Boom my lovely lovely friends that I have made in Thailand...I truly wish I could fit you in my backpack and take you home with me. I will miss the times we have shared. Please come to Chicago soon! I feel so lucky to have lived here in this beautiful country. I am so thankful I took that giant leap and completely went outside my comfort zone. I will always have fond memories of my time here. I love you Thailand.
Turning down the chatter
1 week ago
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7 comments:
Thailand will be with you forever.
Reading this entry made me really get a feel for what you experienced before you left. I am sure you are having a blast in China!
Keep me up to date on the Chinese adventures you encounter as well as those from S. Korea! =)
reading this made me so incredibly happy. odd, right? well, no. i'm so happy for you. you crossed the threshold, heidi, into the unknown. took your hero's journey. and now you return, more of what you always were, but needed this experience to bring out of you.
i'm still going through my application process for s. korea, but i'm really excited for me. i have NO idea what to expect, really. and that's exactly what appeals to me. :)
congratulations on your journey. looking forward to how you follow this up. at some point this summer, i'll be back in chicago and would love to connect with you.
Keep the lessons learned here with you forever and carry on that happiness wherever you go... You've got the grace now girl.
Can you still believe we slept in the same bed for 6 months and never fought? Can we talk about that for a minute? 555555
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